What's bald, has big clacking teeth, and wobbles?
A zombie baby wearing the dentures of an elderly woman whose brains it just ate.

What's 18 inches long, red, yellow and makes women scream.
A zombie baby chomping the head off the family parakeet.

What's funnier than a zombie baby?
A zombie baby dressed as Dan Rather.

What's black and white and red all over?
A nun being devoured by Satanic zombie babies.

What's red and gray and splashes?
A zombie baby playing in a puddle of brains.

How do you put a zombie baby to sleep?
Decapitate it, set it on fire, and scatter the ashes.

What's grosser than nailing a zombie baby to a post?
Watching it pull itself off and then try and eat you.

What's blue, red, and goes "pop"?
A zombie baby exploding out of Cookie Monster's belly.

What's red, and covered in ribbons?
Zombie baby playing in intestines.

What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and one of zombie babies?
The bowling balls don't try and bite off your fingers when you unload them.

What's the best gift to give a zombie baby?
A zombie puppy.

What's green, blue, red, and tastes funny?
A zombie baby eating a clown.

What's white and red and wears rubber gloves?
A doctor being eaten alive by a zombie baby.

What's red and sits in a high chair?
A zombie baby eating a twitching, human foot.

What did the Mommy Aborigine say to the Daddy Aborigine?
"A zombie baby ate my dingo!"

What's cuter than a zombie baby?
A zombie baby with a bunny head in its mouth.

What's small, red, and can't turn around in a corridor?
A zombie baby impaled on a 7-foot iron spear.

What did the Zombie Mommy say to the Zombie Baby?
"You have your Father's eyes…in your fists behind your back!"

What's blue, covered with frost, and sits next to a turkey?
Zombie baby in the freezer.